Do you hate Mel Gibson? Are you old enough to remember the things he did before he said those things that he said? Will you ever find it in your bag of Christmas Cheer or your Yule Sock to forgive him? While it’s pretty common sense and in our society built on Ethics and Rules you can’t go getting your Load on and acting up like he did but, even though It Is What It Is, I still kind of like the movies the guy makes, so there’s that and this is my space. I quite liked Blood Father and even though no one was dragged across concrete, I liked him in Dragged Across Concrete. The last time I ran across him not dragging anyone across concrete he was in some shitty hurricane movie that was miserable from start to finish and I don’t really think it was his fault but whoever made that stupid thing should have been dragged across concrete and now there’s this. When I saw this trailer I was all “OMG. YES.” And, while I suppose it wasn’t as exactly “OMG. YES.” as I had hoped, I did particularly like it and yet, still, no one got dragged across concrete. Eyes closed disheartened emoji.
In here, Walton Goggins and his Teeth are hired to kill Santa Claus. Santa Claus, you see, has resorted to giving out more lumps of coal over the last few years than ever, due to the nature of today’s children being such pitiful, sucky fucks. One such fuck is the child in the jacket, pictured above, who resorts to torture tactics to procure his number one ribbon in the local science fair. *Zap zap shock* *Zip zorp*. Coal is given out under the Xmas tree, the hit is called in and, after that, I thought this thing was pretty much all good fun. I especially like the treatment they gave the elves and the (little) speech about delivering a human head in a box. I also really liked what the set and prop folks did – I don’t know how much money they had to spend but all of that seemed pretty effective. Well done to you *rolls fingers*
As this should post on Christmas Eve where I live – I hope you get some nice gifts from old Santa and if you don’t care about that then that’s OK too. I also suppose, if you don’t care about Xmas, all right – it’s always been good times and happy memories for me. Kind of like this movie – good fun and not to be taken too seriously, for the love of Christ. This one probably could have used a little more action in the Action Movie but it was a billion tons better than that stupid hurricane movie even though, still, nobody got dragged across concrete. Cry.
Filed under: THEY ALMOST MADE IT TO THE HAPPY ENDING