We don’t normally go looking for 1990’s movies with Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid out here at Film Miasma – this place is mostly devoted to horror – but someone went looking for something to watch the other day and it seems that someone’s father-in-law selected the wrong Amazon profile to do his own movie watchin’ and someone else’s profile was filled with Westerns. I don’t mind a good Western at all – in fact, I’ve covered a few out here – but again, not a Meg Ryan movie. When I saw this hanging around out there I thought – oh fuck! I remember that! – and had a memory of sleeping on my couch in my old shitty apartment, trying to work 60 hours a week and make it through college, being super lonely all of the time and just being 22. I remember I really felt my 22 year old lonely and sullen self bond with Quaid’s lonely and quiet Arliss when all he wanted to do was drive around the Texas / Oklahoma panhandles filling his arcade (and condom {rubbers}) machines and staying in shitty hotels, minding his own business. This character really stuck with me for almost one year (upon reflection) until I saw The Professional and poor, lonely Leon changed my life – maybe we’ll get to that some other day. So, I thought I’d give it a 30 year old re-watch and see what happened – plus, if I remembered correctly and played my cards right – I think I did get to see Meg Ryan’s unclothed boobs. I mean – MEG RYAN. *Ahem. Yes*.

While Boo Boo there (actually BOOM BOOM) does, indeed, show some – er… tappity tappity – um – teets – there’s a lot more to this than just that money shot. No, not that money shot you filthy perverts, although, I mean, whatever – but I still really liked this. Lonely, small towns, the guy who just really wants to be left alone until some broad comes into his life and he doesn’t need the trouble, an old ’73 or ’74 Ford pickup and, when it all comes down to it, someone who just wants to do the right thing – this still worked for me. I’m not as lonely and depressed as I used to be now that I have my family but there was totally a time when I would have done just this: not bothered anybody, did my job and helped out here and there if I had to. A year later, Leon taught me it was OK to care and I got a cat and then we kept each other company for a number of years until someone made some bad decisions in life and things went to shit and – well – that’s some more bullshit for another time. [P.S. it involves a girl that I didn’t want anything to do with and she manipulated me into things I didn’t want to do and things went bad and things went worse and I got these tattoos and well fuck – nobody needs to know all that shit]. Back to this – if you’re still paying any attention and care for some trivia – this was Gwyneth Paltrow’s first part and – while I don’t have anything against her – she proves here she’s NEVER played a different character. But, I suppose, neither has Robert Duvall and he’s been playing the same character since the 1830’s and he’s still around.

What’s this thing about? I guess: in the U.S. plains, a man and his son are going around robbing farmers. This starts off when one such event goes bad and some people end up on the wrong end of murder. But do they all???? Years later we come across Quaid doing his thing when he runs into Paltrow doing her thing and then runs into Boo Boo trying to do her thing and the three (or four!!) converge in a sort of rhomboid structure of story telling. It must be four if we’re talking rhombi so – there it is. Make sure to learn your shapes, children of tomorrow! Don’t be stupid! Or, maybe, I guess – as Nina put it one time on Just Shoot me – “Have you ever slept with the stupid? It’s great because they can’t remember anything and can’t judge you.” That is not (sic) by the way. Nor should it be cited for reference in any of your mid-term papers you’re putting together on The Benevolence of The Stupid: A Micro-Treatise To Developing An Understanding Of The Millennial.

As far as this goes, is this going to be your favorite movie? Doubtful. Is it mine? Nope but I really like it in my way. It’s not really 90s in the way the 90s might be represented in old VH-1 videos and Guess jeans ads we loved so much. If I had to complain about one thing it would be that the motive that drives the second half of the movie might be kind of flimsy unless you were a 70s tough guy like James Caan (and me, pinche hombre!!) (but not really) (I was a kid) (who liked Doctor Who and Star Trek) (until Halloween {the movie} blew my fucking mind) but – parens aside, I still liked this – quite a bit actually.

We’ll leave this one the following note before we move on to something super 70s and my favorite part of the horror sub-genre. That’s my plan anyway – it takes me about three weeks to get something out of my brain and on to ‘paper’ as it were so we’ll see how this plays out. (FM Note: It’s not ready yet!)

What are the correct terms for ( and )?

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Filed under: THEY ALMOST MADE IT TO THE HAPPY FINISH