For Part 3 of this Summertime extravaganza, we have to shift cities a little bit (I’m thinking back to the Ventura Beach area) (instead of maybe Northern L.A. with their fancy fucking condos and champagne bottles and rock n roll girl bands) and head into a ‘sorority house’ on a ‘college campus’ filled with Learned Professors, Esteemed Academics, Maternal Housemothers, Sisters in pursuit of just the right fashion and, of course, the mentally deranged and the courteous staff of professionals trying to help them achieve a rightful place in society through brainscans and some sort of fancy psychology that comes with the times in 1986. This actually came out before the official sequel which, you might recall as fun but stuffed with too much gyrating leather and synth guitar for me but this one is – well – yep. Good shit Let’s have some fun here.
The first 11 minutes: two lengthy, slow motion, sweeping dream sequences of the inside of the sorority house, lots of chicks with hair and shoulder padded tops, oh, and three creepy dolls (looks like real girls with papier-mâché masks). What does this represent? Only time will, tell. Let’s proceed. Oh and there’s an actor playing the deranged serial killer doing a pretty unconvincing job. Wait! He’s in the asylum! Wait! He’s in the mirror! This asylum looks like a YMCA! He sure is upset about something. Nice… the lead-lady is conveniently taking a course on clairvoyance and Déjà vu… The killer is looking through the window!! His face is covered in blood!! He’s stabbing a knife through her desk!! Apparently the deranged serial killers in the San Peligro Valley Mental Institute are allowed to wear tee shirts, black jeans and Nikes. Oh well – all of the sorority sisters are leaving for the weekend to party, party, party – even the house mother. Three of them hang around to spend time with Beth, the lead, who has a huge scar on her arm from “before she can remember”. After they all leave, the first thing they want to do, you ask?? “Try on Cindy’s clothes!!!” Yep – they all strip into their panties and go through a closet of fine threads, and even do a little dancing. All except for Beth, who just can’t get over these strange dreams she’s having. Meanwhile – deranged killer has escaped! He’s in the hardware store! He’s knifed an old man! He’s stealing a car! He’s run down David Lee Roth – oh wait, that’s a woman. Gas is 90 cents! Meanwhile, the girls are drinking gin and trying to interpret the dream, in the end, they surmise she’s afraid of sex. Oh good – the movers have shown up. In a matter of seconds (the time it takes for the truck to pull around back) all four girls have changed clothes and are outside.
Oh well – enough of the running monologue. This movie has a good, quaint charm to it. Like – they really tried to do something here, and back in ’86, this might have been a good horror. Then there are also the funnier moments, for example, the electricity is out, the phones don’t work, but they can still watch TV (BTW they are watching Slumber Party Massacre) (see my wonderful and beautiful chart below!!) (WHOOOOOO!!!) . And this one guy is wearing shorts so short that when he falls over in the teepee, his ball pops out. Or, after the teepee is re-erected, for some other sort of erection tomfoolery, the killer slashes it to pieces, killing one of the sisters; her boyfriend runs off stark naked except for his shoes and socks, upstairs he quickly gets some jeans put on (why are there men’s jeans in the sorority house) OVER his shoes and socks while he’s calling the cops – do you know how difficult that is? Have you tried it? But – I think they tried their best with what was probably no budget and some actors who don’t look like seasoned pros. The more this went on, I liked it, in my simple way. Hypnosis, ESP, flashbacks, it’s really not too bad.
The plot is simple: 13 or 14 years ago a family of seven lived in a gigantic property (must’ve been pretty affluent). The son went crazy and killed everyone but one sister escaped (guess who). After that the university bought the place and turned it into a Sorority House (this is how big it is). 12 years later, Beth comes to the house to visit her comely friends. This, via ESP, gets the deranged serial killer all in a huff, who then escapes and reaps terror in the Theta Epsilon Theta house. Chaos ensues! A man jumps through a second story window – with no ladder! With sure freedom upon them, they run into the basement! All in all – I liked this movie and would add it to the file of “would watch again”.
A couple of quotes:
Linda, after picking up a shovel: “I sure would like to give that creep a good whacking with this thing.”
After a knife has been tossed in the air and lands on the table:|
John: “Why is it so dirty?”
Linda: “Because it’s dried blood”
Tracy: “Or dirt.”
Linda: “It’s definitely dried blood.”
I thought this was good fun. If you’re really curious, the boob count was very small but the kill count was up there. Also included: rollaway fire escape ladders, truck windows you have to roll down with your hands and – did I mention the fucking doll things? No thanks. For those of you keeping along – here you go! Laos containing a teaser fo the next go around that I forgot to crop out! One of my proudest moments:
Filed under: MIASMA COLLECTIONS, SLASHERS AND CHICKS!