prom night (1980)

Here’s how my brains work. I watched Hello Mary Lou (Prom Night 2) again the other week because I really like that movie and wanted to write about how I want to kiss on it and maybe grope it a little bit even if it is Canadian and was thinking about what I could do or say and then my brains seized up and couldn’t go any further or press on with the concept of starting something with “2”. “It’s OK, it’s OK,” I tried to soothe myself repeatedly because, prior to popular opinion I do think about these posts, “It’s OK. It is. It’s also OK if the chapstick labels aren’t the same way and if some of those Phillips head screws don’t align perfectly in your wall outlet plates.”

“But, goddamn.” Replied my brains, pointing out that it’s usually just not really that acceptable to start a new toothpaste or deodorant on – say – a Wednesday, or why the fuck would anyone not separate their pizza delivery red pepper flake packets from their parmesan cheese packets and keep them in a nice wire mesh tray, categorized neatly, so someone would know just what someone is getting when it’s time to eat pizza.

“We don’t have to watch it again, it’s not that super good and everyone’s seen it. And, come on, Film Hipster’s not around any longer so we can’t keep making Canadian jokes.” I argued. “If it were Greek or straight up French, no one would notice.”

“Maybe you have something there,” the brains conceded. “I sure do miss Film Hipster.”

And everything was going well and good and then my coworker and I went and ate lunch at this new cajun place down the street from work and he got fried alligator tail and I tried it – against my will – for the first time in these 50 years and it was pretty good actually – especially dipped in the house remoulade – and things seemed to be normal and then – against everything I stand for and everything I try to focus on and keep on the straight and narrow – I had to make an urgent stop in the public shithouse and everything went tits up.

“WHY BRO WHY??!!?” Screamed my everything.

No one would be proud of me.

And here we are.

So this was the second time in my life I’ve seen this Canadian slasher and I can’t really come out and say that I loved it. I think – think – that I might have liked this better if:

  • I had seen this when I was a kid
  • I had seen this when I was a teenager
  • I was Canadian
  • I had seen this on something other than our large TV and with a better HD rendering

This movie starts off with a bunch of Canadian kids playing some sort of game that must have been invented by people who didn’t have much to do except live among the moose and I guess it was / is called The Killer. These bored and weary children go hide and the designated killer seeks you out and gives you a good rogering right up broadway. Oh wait – no – they kill you in that fake way kids do. You, as dead, then go screaming “KILL!!!!!!!!!!” all over the place, piercing adolescent ears, until there is only one kid remaining and apparently you actually really do kill them – committing murder – because they scream “KILL!!!!!!!!!!” so much and so loudly at the little girl above that she falls out of second story window and dies. Nice game.

Apparently those kids above were twelvish, even though they looked like they were six or seven, but I don’t know shit about Canadians other than Moose Head beer, syrup and – well – I guess that’s about it – because we fast forward six years later and they’re all about to go to their senior prom and they look like the above. In 1980 I was 9 and while I do remember peeping on adult women tanning naked in the backyard next to me, I don’t recall seeing a bunch of ladies at the school I went to hanging out with – well – hanging out. Before you get crazy ideas, in 1980 I was at what they call a K-12 school so even the lower grades could mingle with seniors and shit but still – no low hanging torpedoes.

As the story goes, the inept and full of fuck cops never figured out who killed the little girl so long ago but they finger some deranged sexual predator who got  burned up in a fire and has remained locked up in the INSANE ASYLUM for exactly six years but now he’s escaped.

I guess we should take a quick break and clear some things up. I didn’t actually catch or see anyone getting the finger or really even giving the finger, for that matter. That’s just a figure of speech I used. By the time this posts, I will have already posted a paragraph or so about how people used to go around sticking their thumb up people’s butts and calling it The Goose. So: even though this is Canadian and set in 1980: no fingering, no rogering and no goosing. Sounds pretty tepid, even for Film Miasma. Much like saying the Green Apple Quick Step. Polite.

But most importantly there’s some of this:

That’s disco I think that’s the finest form of dancing there ever was but – yep – that’s just me. Maybe not all of the music but you can’t really dance to Five Finger Death Punch no matter how bad their music is getting these days.

BLAH BLAH BLAH some dude in a ski mask is going around killing the people who “KILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!” the little girl – his M.O.? Broken glass and an axe. The kills are off-screen or so blurry that you can’t tell what’s going on, so they aren’t interesting to talk about. I think the thing to take from this is that Disco was awesome and Jamie Lee Curtis has been hot her entire life, torpedoes out or not. I guess this was OK, maybe I would love it more if I had seen it younger but – it is what it is. There are much worse things to look at out there or even just read about on this blog.

In summary! Disco? Check. Jamie Lee Curtis? Check. Canadians? Check. Kids running around screaming their fucking heads off? Check. Also Leslie Nielsen’s in this.

Now you’re all set!

FILED UNDER: AT LEAST THEY TRIED

P.S. If anyone’s still hanging around – somebody got into those brains of mine recently and some bad idea turned into a worse idea and then – beer. I don’t know how much will come of this aside from a full of shit thought or two but – here’s something that may or may not be coming your way. NOTE: This IS audio so there is sound. It’s nothing perverse (aside from my voice) but it’s not something you’d probably play in front of your priest.

15 thoughts on “prom night (1980)

  1. Did you say…. Gary Coleman??? 😆 I’d totally listen to a podcast if you did one! I’ve never listened to one (mainly because I’m too dumb to know if I’ll be able to listen to them on my phone). But, hey – I heard your clip thingy!! Podcasts are all the rage. It seemed like everyone stopped blogging & moved to podcasts. Just don’t stop blogging. ☹️ Do both! I need to stick to blogging since I hate hearing myself. Ew.

    And I saw this movie & totally forgot I’d seen it until I read your review. It was clearly memorable for me. Think I saw Prom Night 2 too but need to rewatch it I guess.

    Podcast! 😁
    #Podcast
    #GaryColeman

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha yep!! Sounded better than Herve villeches (??) ! I might have heard that in a song lyric before? I’m sure it was a billion times better than mine if so! Oh I won’t quit the blog, this idea we had sounds fun. Maybe! For glory! Maybe… it can’t be more shameful than my writing!

      #igothighandburnedmyweenie

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Tom

    Christ. FilmHipster. Fuck that makes me nostalgic dude. Chris DeVine, forgot he was Canadian.

    Fuckin back to the source man! I remember back then when it was you, HilmFipster, Mark Walker, fuckin Tyson of Head in a Vice! All these funny back and forths in the comments sections and me, this little, wet-behind-the-ears, n00blogger with like 2.7 followers was like, damn. There’s a lot of people talking movies this is cool as hell.

    Fucking crickets these days! Is it just me or does it feel like the movie blogosphere is shrinking up

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t know – those old days were a lot of fun but that old blog got out of hand – I kind of like it better now with just a few of us. I do really miss Chris and Tyson and Mark and Misty but god damn some weird shitbags started coming around and wouldn’t leave. I think this one guy wanted to wear my skin. I’m happy with what we’ve got now. If you don’t already, you should check out Blogferatu and Michi who pop around here when they can.

      In other news, we’re you able to goose last weekend? Fingers crossed!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tom

        Those skin-wearing motherfuckers lol!

        I’ll def check them out, thanks for the heads up. I too like a tightknit community/comments sections whatever but yea it’s also weird.

        No, I wasn’t able to goose anyone. They were all too fuckin wise to my creeping. Think I might have had my arms thrust out all too obviously #fucked #thegoosegiveth #thegoosetakethaway

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well shit the bed. Maybe next time! I think it was Augustine that once wrote “A Proper Goosing Brings One Closer to Divinity” while asking his partiotioners to kindly and gently insert their fingers and thumbs into one of his body holes. If you don’t believe me, check the record.

        #thegooseannals

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I have to disagree with you about something. You need the exact opposite of a better HD rendering for this movie. For true cinematic nirvana, ya gotta fire up an old cathode ray tube, a shitty VCR, and a really beat up VHS copy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I will admit that I have bad taste but Prom Night is probably my favorite of the Canadian slashers and definitely my favorite Jamie Lee Curtis slasher. They needed some lights during the killing parts though. Looking forward to the podcast!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply to Blogferatu Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s