Tonight as I sit down to put something together about this movie: i am alone. Well, not totally alone, I have two dogs and one cat in the house with me. I also have Gene Rayburn and Nipsy Russell on in the other room (and Bret Summers and Charles Nelson Reilly of course). The four legged family, I believe, just loves watching old reruns of Match Game while I’m away at work. Oh, I hear Fannie Flag and her – um – flags are on this episode. I feel like I’m allowed to say that since she is regularly wearing sweaters or blouses that accent her – um – bosoms – like egg yolks, or sunflowers or things that indicate: “Look at my big boobs”. So, there. Since I’m alone and drinking beer, I have some time to do some writin’ before I fix myself some supper and watch some old reruns of something else in bed. It’s also 100 fucking degrees outside and fuck that shit so who knows where this post will go. I figure, everyone who comes here comes here for complete logic and well constructed thoughts and sentences, right?

“Do a sentence diagram!!” I hear the people scream.

“I refuse! On Principle!” I argue, touting my pure knowledge of the English language! *Spends several minutes drinking beer looking for a free online sentence diagramming tool* *Gets an idea* *Heads to flowchart software I pay dearly for and use occasionally*

*comes up with this feeble piece of shit*:

“Have you ever smelled Paris at midnight??? HAHAHHAH I rule. #IDont

The Hunt is a movie about some presumably rich and elite people that want to hunt other people for sport. I remember when this was coming out and I wanted to see it because I was coming off of Lindelof’s Watchmen and was kind of in love with him because of The Leftovers plus – and I figure I’ll get in trouble for this like when I said I had the hots for Uma Thurman’s kid, I kind of have the hots for:

I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m trying to make it with either of them – they’re just some chicks who I happen to like. I’m probably old enough to be their great-grandfather for pete’s sake. But anyway – so I thought this looked good and I remembered really liking the chick from GLOW (although I never watched past the first season because I just didn’t for some reason) so I was ready for it and then its release got cancelled for some sort of political horseshit (I think) and that was some cockshit and then it came out on PPV one day and I watched it and I loved it it. Guess what political people or SJW people:

~SPOILERS~

Almost all of them die – that’s what’s fun about it. And guess what else? It’s not the first fucking movie about people hunting other people for fun because they can. What’s that old open space face guy I use to like so much? Oh yeah………. O _ o (I had to use some extra ellipses to get that on the second line. Did I use Carriage Return? No! Do you know what that means? Did I once grope Carrie Anne Moss at The Viper Room in L.A.? – _ O

(Carriage Return!) Sheesh – where was I? Oh yeah – you know who I’ve never liked?

It’s been a couple of days since I started this and and I’m alone again and – college football just started here in the U.S. soooooooooooooooooooo – it’s been a fine day of my team winning (fucking barely) (for FUCK’S sake) some hot dogs and some beer. We were going to record a new podcast tonight but – well – the name of the podcast might give you a hint, except for me, strangely, so here I am again. I know you probably don’t really give a shit but I just re-read this from the other night and – eh – sounds about right. *SHRUGS* Looks good so far.

So Glen, whatshisface (above). I used to like Always Sunny but it just got too obnoxious. Charlie Day started to work my last nerve but Glen here – he always seemed to be talking about his balls and cock. I’m all for free speech and more power to his character and their ad-libbing but enough’s enough. That’d be like me coming out here twice a week and thinking someone might like to read me never really getting to the point about anything and probably going on about something you never want to see. Or something. *Grimaces*

Point taken! Back to this – have you seen it? Some people are hunting other people because they can. They’ve got weapons and they’ve got them doped up with ball-gags and they’ve got some town in some small -I don’t know – hamlet (??) in Eastern Europe (maybe?) and they’re killin’ folks. But someone fights back and she’s a bad mother fucker and she’s SOUTHERN. Usually southern folks in movies are just portrayed as stupid pig fuckers but maybe this time we’ll win. That’s funny — just this morning I watched an episode of this new Steve Martin show on Hulu and, for some reason, they listen to a podcast based out of a town near where I live and they absolutely FUCKED the way it’s pronounced. I’m sure they missed it because those writers have actually been here and experienced life here or they just maybe they just thought “Oh, the south! Pick a town, any town. There’s one!”

UGH

But the show is actually very funny. At least episode one was! (So are all of them!) Yankees!

What else can we do here? I guess, let’s wrap this up – if you’re on the fence or in the bunker or in the crate or in the stake pit, here’s something that may help you pull the trigger on watching this but probably not:

FILED UNDER: THEY ALMOST MADE IT TO THE HAPPY ENDING