First off and most importantly – how have I never heard of this thing? I kind of like to pride myself on 70s drive-in sleaze filth ‘ploitation etc movies but this was a total surprise. Who was hiding this from me my whole life? And, if you ever identify yourself, I’m mad at you. I thought this was grreeeeaaaatttt. Really – i even liked the opening credits and then the elevator attack on the sleazy television repo man and then a switchblade fight in the hotdog shop. And that’s just the first ten minutes! Then we follow up with a girl-gang-fight-against-the-butchy-wardens of juvey and then it keeps getting better. Also – why did spellcheck take that word as ‘juvey’? Is that right? Any more, spell correct sucks. When I typed up ‘ploitation’ a few minutes ago, I got palpitation, plantation and potation. When I typed through “ago” too quickly, I got agar, ages and agog. Whatever – this movie was right up my alley and – if you’re thinking there’s too much ‘ploitation, there’s really not too much aside from a bunch of very 70s slurs that you won’t hear the entire catalogue of in any ten seconds of a Tarantino movie.

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I mean, a couple of boobs do pop out, there’s some good, 70s Maoism thrown in and some guys who dress like The Monkees but – hey – come on. I think I might have even seen an actual pro-vietnam poster in there but surely not, right? Also – if you’re really sensitive – they drink a lot of pop-top beers in here. And play pool. And roller skate.

Here’s the long synopsis from lovely IMDB:

The “Dagger Debs” are a gang of snarling girls, and Maggie is their newest member. Lace, the ever tooth-gritting leader, befriends her but soon has doubts –it seems Lace’s man, Dominic, head of the “Silver Daggers” fancies the new recruit. Lace struggles to keep control of the Debs, and a handle on Nick, as they face off against the rival gang of pushers lead by Crabs.

Here’s your official Don’t Fuck Around On My Turf Balls Out Film Miasma Summary® :

Some (alleged) high school toughs, caught in time between Grease and The Warriors, protect their turf alongside their gang of broads. One day some pukes are sitting at their favorite table at the hamburger joint and a brawl ensues (see above). Soon enough, all of the ladies are in juvey and set to get body inspected by the burly ‘Mom’ but – a brawl ensues! Forces are joined, high schools hijinks are uninterrupted and a rival named Crabs is set to hustle in on their goddammed fucking rights. Before too long, the best fucking roller rink shoot-out you’ve ever seen happens right before your eyes and someone very important to this story is murdered! Who did it?? Was it an inside job because someone’s balling someone they’re not supposed to?? Does Crabs have the upper hand?? Is Patch pulling the DOUBLE CROSS???? Will the inner city gang of tough hustlers join the war??? AAAAAHHHHH who knows????

Aside from the amazing plot here – this thing is filled with all sorts of things I kind of loved. Let’s try and name some – the drunk mom crying all over the place, the quest for Crabs’ medallion, the tank thing they drove towards the end, the excellent silhouette (I got that right on the first try??) knife fight, the costumes / outfits, the fact they’re supposed to be in high school and – sorry – but I thought all of the chicks were super hot and sexy. I understand you probably can’t ay that any more but I grew up in the 70s and it’s my blog so, dig it. Or don’t dig it – I’ll still skate with you if you don’t. Actually, I’m getting so old that if I tried to roller skate and fell down I’d probably never get back up. True story – we’ve been having a new room / office / bathroom built on to the back of our house. A week or so ago I jumped over a trench they built where they’d put the new plumbing in the ground and my hips hurt for three or four days. I can’t believe I used to play football and baseball….

I find it weird that, when we see ALL of the fucking remakes people do – they haven’t redone this one. I guess they haven’t remade The Warriors yet either so – thank god for that. I thought this was great! It might not be for you if you don’t like these types of 70s things though. Maybe that’s it. For me – this was A-OK. It might even be Duke of New York A Number One great.

FILED UNDER: FUCK YEAH SON!