bad turn worse (2013)

Do any of you remember the days of the past —> your long term memory – when I’ve typed shit about living in a small town and how I actually liked it but there are things about the big city that are, indeed, nice or the times I’ve been happy to watch some small budget movies with small casts in small towns and find out they’re actually good things to watch or that they reminded me of things like my childhood or maybe even those times I’ve talked about the grain elevator or even those times mom warned you not to nut yourself in the grain elevator?

My dad was just over here the other night to have dinner before my impending surgery and we were talking about cemeteries and where our ancestors are buried and all of that and we were talking about my mom’s hometown as mentioned above and then his home town which is even smaller and he said the only thing probably left standing or making any money “is the elevator or the domino hall”. That has nothing to do with the movie but you-know-who who does have long term memory – did your small town have a domino hall??

For whatever that reminiscin’ is worth, I miss those days and I miss those times when my friends and I used to run around and do shit but we can’t because we’re much too old for that type of thing and there’s no way I could run through the Wilshire Club streaking or do a couple of tabs of acid and break into the old school downtown or have the balls to go into Deep Deuce before they spiffed it up all nice or – well – the shit we used to do. Kids! I cant even think of the ballsiest thing I’ve done in the last ten years aside from trying to be a good family man. I guess I did have to work in New Jersey but that wasn’t something I did because I thought it would be adventurous and daring. Remember that time we all went to the joint in Norman and drank sixteen ounce glasses of whiskey all day and then somehow made it home and then thought we’d get mexican and it would soak up the alcohol but it didn’t and then you made fun of me for being too drunk so I poked you in the eye and broke your sunglasses and pushed you down into the street and the cars had to screech and try not to run over us? The Glory Days!

Remember when we were young and skinny??

Look at that hairless chin. Look at that cat. Do you know what that cat’s name was? Spock. THAT’S RIGHT. My old Spocky Jocky. And, to kind of date that picture a little, sometimes he went by Iraqi Spocky because of what was in the news all the time back then. BTW that’s me and Mister Pubes (and Spock) even though neither of us had pubes on our faces then. Here’s a recent-ish picture I’ve shared out here before:

Of course, now I’m 200+ pounds of Pure USA Grade Steel, but I remember how lean I use to be. Lean and Mean. Eat thunder and shit lightning – isn’t that how I lived my life? I also remember being able to stay up all night and getting a box of beer and going out into the country and doing shit you’re not supposed to do. Like that time we went into that old, abandoned house – the one with the strangely new-ish mattress that was in the old, decrepit withered thing someone built with their own two hands back in the 30s probably, because I’m sure the rats slept on it and not teenagers going out there to screw. Remember when you hoisted me into the attic and I turned my head around scanning the room with that flashlight and – just like in the movies – I swiveled and came across HUNDREDS of eyes glowing back at me?? Remember how we all ran screaming out of that mother fucker and tore off onto those dirt roads and got stuck in the mud?? We thought that they were demons or such and shit but, after sober and sane reflection, I’m sure they were just possums. Possums or opossums? Possums.

Remember when we went into that abandoned hospital downtown and made it all the way to the fucking morgue at the bottom. Remember when we heard something creak and we went screaming out of that fucking thing faster than Jesse Owens??? Remember the Sieber Hotel and how we had to get into it by putting a 2×6 across two windows and tightrope across the buildings, 12 stories up?? I still have that keychain I found there. Or how about the old water Power Plant??? I almost died in that thing when I stepped through the corroded, metal walkway. Or Five Mile where the Satan worshippers gathered? Or that old suspension bridge??? Or that time we Peeping Tommed into some house and the guy came after us with a gun???

I guess I’m getting all nostalgic because I’m getting ready to have surgery on my fucking foot and it might not ever get any better so I might lose the goddammed thing. And – faced with the fact I might probably have to use a prosthetic for the rest of my life I miss those days of doing shit like that. I mean I’m old now and should not ever do shit like drop acid at the Pink Floyd concert in Dallas and trip balls and get a tattoo in the parking lot but – I’ve lived my life fun. I think the chances of me dying in surgery are slim and shit but – hey – fuck. Reflection, right?

Here’s a pic from a few years ago of Mister Pubes and I celebrating after a win in the now defunct July 4 Bocce Tournament at my cousin in law’s house:

Anyway, that’s what this movie reminds me of – without the murder. Dangerous but fun good times from my youth. Now I’m old and my joints hurt and my eyes are bad – but, boy we tore the fuck up out of some shit! How about the time we went drinking until the bar closed and then decided to walk down the street naked with that one chick?? The cops got called and I was too drunk to hop that chain link fence because I didn’t want to rip my balls off so I stood in that fucking tree naked as a baby for two hours with insects crawling all over me…. that wasn’t very fun but now it is, thinking about it.I guess I didn’t say a thing about the movie so here’s he IMDB blurb: Three Texas teens hope to make a break for it and escape their dead-end existence in a cotton-mill town but get sucked into the seedy underbelly of organized crime when one of them steals from the wrong man. Ah shit!

That’s probably the one thing I never did – steal shit. Well anything worth value anyway. I mean sure, a little bit of this or that but no bags of money or nothing. Who didn’t run off with a twelve pack of beer when they were 17? But hey! This movie is really my kind of thing if you like small town heist movies.

While Mrs Film Miasma is the best thing that ever happened to me and she’s saved my life twice, I’d like to give a big thanks to all of my old runnin around buddies: Mister Pubes, The Bone Doctor, Hosack, The Satrap of Sag, The Red Baron, The Man Who Wears Three Perfumes, The Old Testament , The Dirty Finger, El Diablo and never last and never least – The Triple T;

Always on the wall,

The Great Montana Jumping Spider

THIS MOVIE FILED UNDER: FUCK YEAH, SON

10 thoughts on “bad turn worse (2013)

      1. Man – I tried! Who fucking knew you had to go through a body cavity search to get your fucking foot cut off?? Bunch of cunts if you ask me.

        I’ll try and recreate the event with my unbelievably dope graphic design skills when I get back up and at ‘em.

        X X

        PS I know my skills aren’t dope

        Like

  1. Firstly, I hope your surgery went well, or if you haven’t yet had it, that everything will go well.

    Secondly, forget the review of the film in this instance. I throughly enjoyed reading about your exploits with your friends, and would’ve liked to have read even more if you had included additional stories. I remember those sorts of days. I never did the bit you mentioned about being twelve stories up, that must have been scary and surreal at the same time. I did, however, have my fair share of nights with my friends, where we would drink all night, and would’ve thought, like you guys did, that Mexican food would’ve soaked up all the alcohol.

    Thoroughly entertaining post my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Those are good memories for sure. We’re all too old to do things like that anymore but we really tore some shit up back then.

      Surgery went well, I’m convalescing although minus one foot. Aside from being 50 and pretty healthy, I won’t be running from any cops any time soon haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Fun post! I love all the pics & stories about your similar small-town upbringing. 😊 Although your small town stories involve much more nudity & a bit more alcohol than mine do. And way more creepy, abandoned buildings. Your small town stories sound like the perfect horror movie setting. Guess small town Wisconsin was less creepy. Except for our cannibals… 🧟‍♂️ (okay, I know that’s a zombie but there’s no cannibal emoji)

    #SmallTownCannibals

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? Cannibals?? What?? Uuuuuhhhh was there a food shortage or was that just a way of life?? To each their own I guess. In Prague it was mostly rumors about sheep fuckers. I don’t really want to tag that one hahaha! How about:

      #nutyourselfinthegrainelevator

      🍆💥💦

      Like

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