to all the old knives out, the pearl onion has wounded the fawn

Dear Knives Out, I barely remember you but I do remember you having bad breath. Something about an old rich white dude living in and old rich white dude house with a young hot Hispanic ‘caretaker’, right? I mean smoking hot. A bunch of rich white kids and grandkids too, right? Tony Curtis’ kid. That …

Continue reading to all the old knives out, the pearl onion has wounded the fawn

a couple of turds for your halloween basket: the stay awake (1987) and bikini girls on ice (2009)

Well, it's almost the big night! Will I have my big post I've been threatening people about ready? Knowing me - probably not. It's almost done but I have to finish it. And --> I'm so fucking slow, so there's that. Most importantly, I would like to call recognition to myself for putting the word …

Continue reading a couple of turds for your halloween basket: the stay awake (1987) and bikini girls on ice (2009)

the thingy (2013) aka the miracle of life aka the thingy: confessions of a teenage placenta

Let’s just start by saying that, aside from having the greatest titles I’ve ever seen – The Thingy is a miserable Belgian movie that is absolutely NOT fun at all and if I had that bazooka I’ve wanted for years to use on stupid automobile drivers, I would kablow this fucking thing right now and …

Continue reading the thingy (2013) aka the miracle of life aka the thingy: confessions of a teenage placenta