WOO! Things from the 70s will likely be featured on this place a lot – if not just to secure their memory but at least to feed my nostalgia. This is when I grew up and, even though I know there was still the same fucking shit going on then like it is now, I remember those years peacefully – before I had to work and fucking pay bills, my first trips into horror movies and actually being scared, before teenage loneliness and depression and guilt and all of that crap. I’ve always liked this kind of thing, not just for the usual abundance of female skin (of which I approve), but also just the usual hmmm – how else could it be put – 70s-ness. The first time you snuck a beer… those times you peeped on your babysitter making out… or when you could just go to the movie concession counter, reach your dirty hand into a jar of giant pickles, pick one out and eat it without having to worry about
dysentery and syphilis everything now. You can barely take a piss in public any more. But…. Generation X…. Approved √
Here’s a brief plot synopsis:
A Latino fellow is a passenger on a TWA airplane! Back at home some old man is accosting a stunning looking red-headed woman! He’s doing it with her! The jet-setting Latino (sporting a nice Permanent hairdo, mind you) arrives home and catches them after the act! He kills his best friend!!! He dumps the body on the beach!! Coincidentally, some other. unrelated Latino man has killed his girlfriend at the same place on the beach!!! And dumped her body!!! How exciting!!!! Elsewhere, some other good looking lady with a nice figure gets balled against her will by her husband’s business associate —> so her husband kills him and doesn’t tell her! So much Murder! Sadly, later, he can’t even ball his own wife because he is so upset. Foreshadowing! ?
Eventually his son (from his deceased ex-wife) comes home from college in Mexico so the un-balled, new wife from the last sentence gets drunk and stoned and balls the kid on the pool table. So much Balling! Can you even do that nowadays? Do Millennials ball? Elsewhere, on the beach, everyone is playing bongos and flutes and running around, jumping over the Stationary Camera with one or more of their testicles hanging out of their short shorts. So, naturally, Alan balls Margo and Frank kills Alan. The inept cops find the body and the cop spends the entire time working out the case. Frank also accidentally kills a character played by Larry Lindville of M.A.S.H. fame and may or may not be having an affair with his (Frank’s) widow. The Intrigue! The Deceit! The Betrayals! Later, Margo does it with someone named Steve – who runs off crying! Margo chases him around and they ball again! SPOILERS! The dipshit cops put together some very loose clues and show up to do some arresting but end up killing in the name of the Law! End. Roll theme song.
WOO WOO WOO! Nominated for an Academy Award for Best Song!
I probably could have trimmed that down by about 300 words (and not used so many capital letters or exclamation points) but who’s watching word counts and punctuation and Proper Nouns when it’s all fun? I mean, this isn’t going to be anyone’s favorite movie of all time but hey – it is what it is and it’s a ton better than a lot of the shit that promises to be on this site. And the chicks were hot – with or without Polio Shot scars. For its time, radial Tv dials, macramé and Hispanic men with curly hair, this is a ton better than this 2021 Ridley Scott show I couldn’t even finish the third episode of. What was it called? I already forgot the name of it, it was so stupid.
Filed under: THE BOOBS THAT TIME FORGOT