Hippies, astrology, pot, flowers in your hair, free love, Paganism, swirling camera shots, blorp-blorp-blorp sound effects – and the Tarot reading witch, of course. Sadly, I don’t find this as appealing or entertaining as some of the other things that will show /or bare their faces around here, but it gave me some nice nostalgia of the things we got to see back when I was young. My mom and her sister were born in the 50s so by the time I came around, the aunt moved off to California to be a hippie and the mom turned more to disco and the night life. NOTE: the sperm donor known as my biological father literally Easy Rider-ed off to the sunset some time after my 1st birthday so I grew up spending time by myself watching Doctor Who, Star Trek and listening to Pink Floyd, Seals and Crofts and Alan Parsons Project records while my mom went out looking for someone who could watch me while she went out to party. Oh, and seeing shit like this at the Drive In.

This one opens up with a dude taking a piss on the side of the highway and, of course, like always, there are two good looking ladies playing in the tall grass just off the road. One of them, Carol, gets the balls and asks him for a ride in his groovy bus-style motor home while the other, the dark and mysterious Maureen, warns to not take the ride because “He is an Aries and Aries is in a sign of turbulence!” Nevertheless and obviously they do take the ride, get stoned, Carol flashes some local hillbillies, gets her balls up again and balls Chuck and they go ahead and get lost in the Florida Everglades. While Carol and Chuck are out exploring, having Out In The Open Nature Sex and and picking up a baby raccoon, Maureen gets visited by a slave of Apollo who gives her some sort of magic scepter and tells her it’s her turn to be his slave (or something) and she has some sort of orgasmic experience on a table out in the middle of the swamp. Does that deserve a ! ? Yes –> !!

There’s not much more of a plot to this movie unless the viewer feels the need to try and interpret the flashbacks that (I think) are designed to tell us who the characters are (like the child molesting priest who has driven Maureen to the Zodiac or the football player who took advantage of young and innocent Carol) or the mysterious shots of birds and water rippling that I am sure meant something when this was made. Chuck and Carol have sex in the motor home, the swamp, a giant swing, even a tree and he even eventually does it with Maureen out on that table. Included in Pick Up, for some reason, is a politician running around campaigning in the swamp (who I think is supposed to symbolize the devil) and a clown I didn’t quite catch the meaning of.  Strangely enough, this ends with Carol getting killed by those hillbillies from earlier and then it ends with the two girls sitting in the field again, getting picked up by Chuck, although this time Maureen is excited. Maybe it was that fucking clown?

There you have it – I think this has something to do with the loss of innocence… or maybe it was just a nice excuse to ball out in the woods? Or out in the wild grass? I’ve never done any natural balling – maybe I was just always to afraid of chiggers or boll weevils biting on my naked thighs. Because Apollo knows these naked, white thighs would look like good eatin’ for some asshole land insects. Fuckers!

Filed under: THE BOOBS THAT TIME FORGOT