I will always heartily stand by the fact that I don’t know shit about shit. Do I know who Brian De Palma is? Of course. Do I care? Not really. I was going to start this off by saying that I’ve only seen two of his movies but, looking at his list, I guess I’ve seen a bunch. I remember seeing Snake Eyes in the movies because I was a huge Cage fan but I didn’t love it the most. I also saw Mission to Mars in the theater – on a date! – but I didn’t love that either and – sadly because I know you care – that movie did not result in any sort of romance. I only went out with her once (not because of the non-kissing bit) because I don’t think either of us really cared but I don’t remember her name right now. What was I even driving back then? finger roll rhumba thumpa thumpa thumpa. Probably my old Geo that I bought for 1000 bucks. That car wasn’t too impressive but it got me around town and didn’t take much to fill up. It was also super oxidized on the hood and top so that was a plus. Here I come ladies! But – this movie – the only reason I watched it was not to hone up on my De Palma but because I remember this and I think it was the first thing I ever watched on HBO – back when HBO FIRST CAME OUT. How ya like me now?

Travolta and his dimple play a sound guy for a studio that makes shitty horror movies. Film Miasma note: the opening sequence to this is one of those ‘de Palma long shots’ I guess he’s famous for and it involves a movie slasher in a sorority house complete with disco and nude co-eds – right up my alley. The sleazy producer he works for doesn’t like one of the screaming naked ladies so, for some reason, he sends his sound guy out to get some sounds of birds and wind. ?? While there, he (Travolta) witnesses a car go tits up into a river, rescues the broad in the back seat and later becomes convinced it was an assassination because of some sounds he has on his tape. Soon enough, there’s a killer out trying to cover up loose ends (John Lithgow and his chin), people are turning up dead, there’s a serial killer on the loose, a Navy guy gets a telephone booth blowie and Travolta drives a jeep through some sort of super packed 4th of July thing in Philadelphia without hurting anyone or getting arrested. Film Miasma note 2: if I did that they would hang me in public, whether I hurt someone or not.

My memories of this movie are that I got to see boobs on the TV screen and no one cared (this was at my hippy grandma’s house – not the Baptist ones) and this a far cry from Tom Baker and Sarah Jane Smith fighting Zygons. I also saw some killing and I wasn’t used to that but I felt like I was getting way with something. Maybe I remembered John Travolta from Kotter and he was cussing it up and drinking and smoking and it was something else. Film Miasma note 3: if ANYONE ever does ANYTHING that differs from my mom (The Creator)’s point of view it’s because they drink and smoke. My cousin died a couple of months ago: “You know, her mom doesn’t know why but she was probably drinking and smoking.” Her current husband and her separated a year or so ago: “Well I wouldn’t let him drink inside so he drank out in the front yard in front of all of the neighbors!” To Film Miasma’s wife several years ago: “Does [Film Miasma] go to church and believe in god?” “I don’t think so.” “So he just sits around drinking and smoking.” Notice the period at the end of that last quote. Not a question, a judgement. You know who drank and smoked the most when he was growing up? Film Miasma’ creator.

Oy. Back to the movie – I like that I found this last picture. That movie poster in the back: “Lure of the Triangle” with a picture of a bikini bottom. I thought that was just an inside joke and then, because of my diligence, I looked it up and….

Lure of the Triangle (1977) “Filmed on location in the crystal waters of the Devil’s Triangle. Steamy Sex combined with beautiful underwater photography. This is a treasure hunt to end all treasure hunts. We won’t spoil the plot by telling you what gorgeous Patricia Rivers and virile Mike Cone are looking for, or whether they find it, but we will guarantee that for the viewer there’s treasure of every kind in every last frame of this movie. The Triangle will LURE you in!”

Loose lips sink ships! Rated X! 1977! I HAVE to check this out somehow. I’ve never seen any but – 70s porn… classic shit!

As for Blow Out, I think I hit all of the high points up there in the second paragraph. I wasn’t in love with it. Nancy Allen might have been on of my first crushes but – I guess it was OK. I learned John Lithgow hasn’t changed much and Dennis Franz has always been a sleaze ball. Poor old Vinnie Barbarino’s film career has certainly been sucky lately and no matter how noisy and fireworky and clangy and cheeringy and car honbkiny it is out there in the Philadelphia streets, as long as your yell loud enough some schmuck can you hear you a few blocks away, see Figure 3 above, It’s certainly not the worst movie or anything but it didn’t bring me any whimsical nostalgia for anything other than the good old days when I didn’t have to pay fucking bills. And work all goddammed day all week. And make my own dinner. And wake up early. And –

FILD UNDER: AT LEAST THEY TRIED